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Call us in confidence:
Edinburgh 07900 484184
Glasgow 0141 552 0154
Dundee 07760 274601

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Confidentiality
SAA Scotland is an anonymous group. However, anonymity does not apply if you tell us you are involved in sexual violence or in any sexual activity involving minors. We will report any instances to the police.

The 3 circles - setting boundaries

The three circles is a simple tool we use to define our sobriety for ourselves - to define what a healthy sexuality for ourselves can mean.

We think through all our behaviours and organise them according to whether they are addictive (inner circle), healthy (outer circle) or somewhere in between (middle circle). It's not always easy to tell if something should be in the inner circle or not. Typically, inner circle behaviours are those that:

1. You can't stop when you want to
2. You keep secret
3. Would have negative consequences in your life if revealed
4. You use to numb yourself from difficult feelings
5. Lack any real intimacy or respect

Why don't you try it for yourself? List specfic behaviours and categorise them as follows:

Inner circle - Compulsive sexual behaviours from which we choose to abstain completely.

Middle circle - Behaviours which are much less destructive and weaker in intensity. They cause us much less of a problem but tend to lead us back to the inner circle. You can also put behaviours about which you are unsure in this category.

Outer circle - Things we do which enhance our lives and our recovery, that keep us engaged with others and with reality rather than isolated and in a fantasy world.

Remember, your circles will change as you learn more about your behaviours during your recovery.

An example